The biker bunker your bike's been beggin’ for 🏍️

🚦That time my garage saved my sanity (and my spine)

Back in '03, I lived in a rundown rental with more rats than sockets. One night, I was flat on my back, under the bike, flashlight in my teeth, cursing like a pirate in a thunderstorm. My knees were wrecked. My beer was warm. My chain tension was still off. I cracked. Said screw it. Sold my TV, skipped three rent payments, and turned that dump into a sacred, greasy, neon-lit wrench temple.

Best damn decision I ever made.

Your garage ain’t just where you fix your ride — it’s where you become the rider.

💥 Build it like you mean it

This ain’t about looking good on Instagram. This is about respect — for your tools, your bike, and your back.

If you’re crawling on concrete with a Harbor Freight floor jack and a dream, you’re suffering unnecessarily. Here’s how to wrench like a savage with taste:

• Lift table — get the bike off the ground. Your knees and spine will thank you.

• Pegboard or magnetic strip — tools on the wall, not in a bucket from 2004.

• Workbench — something heavy enough to outlive you. Bonus if it’s stained with transmission fluid and regret.

• Lighting — not some flickering ceiling bulb from a horror movie. LED that makes chrome sparkle like sin.

Don't forget the sound system. Bluetooth, wired, hell — even a busted radio from your high school El Camino. As long as it screams when you do.

🍺 Cold beer, hot vibes, no judgment

Every righteous garage has a fridge. If yours doesn’t, you’re running a storage unit — not a shop.

Stock it like a biker apocalypse is coming:

• 🍻 Cheap beer (bonus if it’s in stubby bottles)

• 🧃 Hydration (don’t die dumb)

• 🍖 Jerky (or that meat stick you forgot you bought last summer)

• ☠️ Leftovers that scare your dog

And for the love of grease — bolt the fridge down. I’ve seen one tip during a party, and we’re still mourning those lost six-packs.

🎯 Your walls need attitude

Blank drywall? That ain’t a garage. That’s a dentist’s office.

Slap your story on the walls:

• Old rally flags with holes in ‘em

• Wrenched parts from blown engines

• A framed picture of your first crash (bonus if your ex is in it flippin’ the bird)

• Neon signs that say something filthy

I’ve seen a man mount an entire gas tank urinal in his corner. It flushes with throttle cable. Legend.

🔥 Pro Tip: Your garage should scare the HOA

You want your neighbors to glance at your garage and quietly reconsider their life choices.

That’s the vibe.

It doesn’t need to be clean. Hell, it shouldn’t be. But it better run like a biker command center. Beers cold. Tools hot. Lift ready. Grease on the floor and Sabbath in the air.

Build it like a biker. Not a Pinterest dad.

👹 Ready to raise hell?

Your bike's been good to you. Time to return the favor.

If you’ve got a garage that makes grown riders weep, show me. Hit reply. Describe it. Brag. Or confess your sins and tell me what it should be — I’ll roast you into motivation.

Ride Dirty, Wrench Filthy, Live Loud,
Blake “Iron Sage” Rivers

P.S. If you’ve got carpet in your garage, I don’t want to know. Unless it’s soaked in whiskey and covered in burnout marks. Then we talk.