🏴‍☠️ Saddle Up Or Shut Up 🤘💨

🚦That One Time She Nearly Took Us Both Out…

We were rollin’ out of Laconia Bike Week, sun burnin’ off the booze from the night before, and I had a new passenger on the back—cute, confident, and clueless as a golden retriever on espresso. Ten miles in, she leaned the wrong damn way in a tight left curve and nearly had us kissin’ asphalt at 50 mph. I saved it (barely), but she got off three exits later, still cryin’ about her hair getting messed up.

Moral of the story? Riding 2-up ain’t a romantic comedy—it’s a damn trust fall on wheels. Let’s talk about how NOT to end up on the side of the road screaming, “I thought YOU had the map!” 🗺️

🧍‍♀️ Passengers: Stop Being A Backpack With Legs

If you’re riding pillion, don’t just sit there like you’re on the back of a damn rollercoaster. Here’s what you need to know:

• 🧠 Be Aware: This ain’t Uber. You’re on a machine that reacts to every little twitch you make. So no sudden leaning, no adjusting your pants mid-corner, and for the love of torque—no flailing during stops.

• 🦶 Feet Stay Put: Keep those feet on the pegs all the time. Don’t try to dismount until the rider tells you. Jumping off early is how you both get flattened.

• 🗣️ Talk Before The Ride: Hand signals, stops, how to hold on. If your only plan is to scream when shit goes sideways—you are the danger.

🧑‍✈️ Riders: Don’t Be A Showoff, Be A Damn Pilot

You’re not just riding anymore—you’re carrying precious cargo. Treat that bike like a loaded gun. Here's how not to screw it up:

• 🦺 Smooth Operator: Your passenger’s got zero clue what’s coming. Brake like a gentleman. Accelerate like your mom’s on board. No snappy throttle twists to impress the ladies.

• 🧼 Check Your Setup: Adjust your rear shock, tire pressure, and mirrors before you ride 2-up. You’re heavier now—deal with it.

• 🧠 Mind Their Mind: You might be cool with hairpin turns and tight squeezes, but they’re white-knuckling your jacket. Start chill. Build trust. Then rip later—if they’re into it.

🎯 Pro Tip (From A Guy Who’s Dumped A Passenger Or Two)

Tape a small “Don’t Panic” note to your tank or dash—right where your passenger can see it. If they’re freaking out, that little reminder might just keep them calm enough not to KO you mid-ride. (Also, never date someone who says “I love motorcycles!” but screams like a banshee at 25 mph.)

🗣️ Let’s Hear It — What’s Your Worst 2-Up Horror Story?

C’mon, don’t be shy. Hit reply and tell me about that one time they almost killed you. Best (or worst) story might get a little feature in the next email. No judgment. Okay, maybe some. 😏

Ride Smart, Ride Strong,
Blake “Iron Sage” Rivers

P.S. If your passenger keeps bumpin’ helmets with you, it ain’t a love tap—it means you’re riding like a jackass. Fix it.