You ever think, “No one’s gonna f*ckin’ believe this” mid-ride?
Good. You’re finally livin’ right. 🤘

🚦 Close Encounter with the WTF Dimension

You ever take a ride so twisted it felt like you accidentally rolled through a portal into another universe? Yeah, well I did—and I’m still not convinced I came back right.

Couple years back I was haulin’ ass through Navajo country when my GPS decided to commit ritual suicide. I ended up on a road that looked like it hadn’t seen pavement since Reagan was president. Fog rolled in, temperature dropped 15°, and I’m suddenly riding next to a herd of wild mustangs that vanish as soon as I look twice.

No signs. No sound. Just that deep, gut-punch feeling that something’s watching you. I hit the kill switch, lit a smoke, and that’s when I heard it—a goddamn whisper behind me.

Nobody there. Just me, a dying Marlboro, and the low hum of something I couldn’t see but sure as hell felt.

Next morning, I wake up 100 miles from where I thought I was. No gas stops. No turns. Just... there. Bike’s still warm. I don’t ask questions anymore.

💀 Why riders see weirder sh*t than anyone else

Let’s get one thing straight — if you haven’t questioned reality mid-ride, you ain’t been far enough from cell service.

Riders like us? We don't just chase sunsets. We chase madness.
Open roads twist into open wormholes. Bikers are modern cowboys with fewer teeth and more tattoos, riding steel steeds into the unknown.

You’re exposed to it all:

• Methhead hitchhikers with pet raccoons.

• Unmarked graves at rest stops.

• Preachers offering exorcisms at truck stops.

• One time a dude flashed me a gun and his junk — in that order.

That’s the biker lifestyle. You're either the storyteller or the punchline. Sometimes both.

🔥 5 signs you just crossed into the f*cked-up side of the ride

1. You passed the same dead possum three times. And each time, it's smiling wider.

2. You stopped for gas and got offered a chicken “in trade.”

3. Your Bluetooth speaker played static and then your dead grandma’s voice.

4. A goat stared at you for five solid minutes like it knew something.

5. Your beer bottle at the campfire opened itself. And hissed.

Yeah. You’re not crazy. You’re just a biker. Same damn thing.

🛠️ Pro Tip from a man who once fought a badger with a wrench 🛠️

NEVER sleep near a cornfield. I don’t care how tired you are. I don’t care if the map says it’s a campsite.
Cornfields are portals. That’s all I’ll say. 👹🌽

🧨 Spill it, road warrior...

What’s the weirdest, wildest, “ain’t nobody gonna believe this” story from your time in the saddle?
UFOs? Demonic deer? Sketchy backwoods strip clubs with one-legged dancers and no music?

I want it. Hit reply and unload. Extra points if your bike almost died and you almost sht yourself.*

Keep the shiny side up and the haunted hitchhikers off your pegs.

Ride Dirty, Ride Defiant,
Blake “Iron Sage” Rivers

P.S. If your story includes ghosts, cryptids, or human meat jerky — I will straight-up feature it in the next issue. Don’t hold back.