🧠 You ain't crazy — other drivers are the problem 😤

🚦 Blake’s roadside confession booth

So there I was, chugging through a beautiful canyon road, sun dipping low, soul at peace... and BAM — a minivan doing 22 in a 50 decides to brake check me. No signal. No warning. Just a full-on “hope you like asphalt” moment. I missed her bumper by inches. Heart in my throat, jaw clenched, and suddenly that peace turned to pure fury. I didn’t flip her off — I just rev-bombed her soul outta her body.

Now listen... I’m no saint. I’ve been the guy weaving lanes, flirting with 3-digit speeds. But when you ride every day knowing you’ve got nothing between you and a hospital bill but your own reflexes, you start developing a sixth sense for the truly dumb moves of others.

So let’s air it out. Time to scream into the exhaust pipe, friends.

🛑 Tailgaters: the anti-christ of lane space

You wanna know what flips my kill switch faster than a wet clutch? 🐍 Tailgaters.

You see that three feet between my fender and your front grill? That’s not an invitation — that’s the last thing between your dumbass and a manslaughter charge. I’ve had lifted trucks ride my ass like I owed ‘em money. Had to tap the brake light, drop a gear, and give ‘em a rev that said, "Back the hell off or we're both gonna meet Jesus."

🛠️ Pro Tip: If they won’t back off, change lanes and let ‘em fly by — then follow ‘em for five miles just to make 'em nervous. 😈

🧟 Left-lane zombies: why are you even here?

Here’s a wild thought: if the left lane makes you nervous, maybe... just maybe... don’t drive in it. 😵‍💫

These folks get in the passing lane, lock into 58mph, and think it’s their God-given right to babysit traffic flow. Meanwhile, my bike’s cooking, my patience is toast, and I’m stuck behind Susan the Speed-Limiter on her way to pilates.

If your mirrors are dusty and your cruise control's been on since Kansas, I hope your check engine light haunts your dreams. 👻

🔁 Prius U-turns: the official symbol of chaos

I swear every time I see a Prius slow down in the middle of the road, I start praying. 🙏 Because 50% of the time, they’re about to pull a U-turn that defies physics, common sense, and at least three traffic laws.

I once saw a guy do a three-point-turn across two lanes of rush hour traffic like he was Moses parting the sea. If I hadn’t anticipated it, I’d be a chalk outline right now.

⚠️ Public Service Announcement: If you’re driving a Prius and reading this — stay in your damn lane and leave the stunts to Marvel movies.

🔥 Vent it before you snap (or snap a clutch cable)

We all got that one move that sends us into redline rage. Maybe it's the texter drifting into your lane. Maybe it’s the guy with no mirrors on his Dodge Ram. Maybe it’s just Monday drivers being Monday drivers.

But here’s the deal — talking about it helps. Laughing about it really helps. And if you’ve got a story that made you see red or earned you a ticket, hell, I wanna hear it.

🗣️ Hit that reply button and tell me:
What’s the one move that makes you wanna throw your helmet into traffic?

🏁 Ride smart, ride savage,
Blake “Iron Sage” Rivers

P.S. If you are the kind of person who tailgates a biker... just know: we remember faces. And we ride faster than you brake.