🏴‍☠️ Road signs of the damned 🤣 — license plates that made me spit my coffee

🚦 Yea I Saw That…

A few years back, I’m riding through New Mexico, sun in my eyes, bugs in my teeth, the usual — when I roll up behind this old-school Harley with a plate that just said: "IH8CARS". I damn near laid my bike down laughing. Rider gave me a side-eye and a smirk, like he knew he’d just made my day a whole lot better.

Ever since then, I started keeping a mental scrapbook of the most savage, stupid, and side-splitting plates I’ve spotted on the road. Today? I’m sharin' the best of the best, 'cause lord knows we could all use a few laughs between dodging idiots in minivans.

🛣️ The most badass (and dumbass) plates I've seen

🤣 Creative carnage on two wheels

• "2FST4U" — Sure, champ. We'll see about that after the next speed trap.

• "GASLOL" — Spotted on a 250cc bike. Kid was putting out a solid 38 mph uphill. Respect the hustle.

• "BRAPP" — Loud pipes save lives... and your dignity, apparently.

• "FML" — On a vintage Triumph that looked held together with hope and zip ties.

• "NO1CARES" — Buddy, that's the spirit of modern motorcycling distilled into eight beautiful letters.

🛠️ Why bikers have the BEST plates

Let’s be real — four-wheelers throw down basic stuff like "DADLUVS" or "G8GRL" (gross). Bikers? We weaponize sarcasm at 70 mph. It's like tagging your middle finger to the state registry and daring a cop to say something.

We don’t have bumper stickers. We got statements.

😈 How to spot a true road savage

Here’s the deal: if you catch a plate that makes you snort laugh into your helmet, odds are you're tailing a real one. Someone who gets the spirit of the road: a little wild, a little reckless, and a whole lot of "don't tell me what to do."

Look for the signs:

• A battered set of saddlebags

• A bike that’s seen more miles than a Greyhound

• A smirk under the helmet

If you see all three? Buy that man or woman a beer. You just found family.

🛑 Pro Tip: Choose your words like you choose your bike 🏍️

If you’re getting a vanity plate, go hard or stay stock. Nobody respects "BIKER69" unless you were born in 1969 and can prove it with scars. Keep it sharp, short, and clever — like a punch to the ribs from an old friend.

💬 Wanna join the license plate roast?

Got a plate that made you swerve from laughing?
Snap a pic, hit the Chrome and Clutch Community, and drop it in the thread.
Let's see who’s got the most twisted, side-splitting tags out there. 🏴‍☠️

Not a member yet? We have closed off access for now, but if you reply with “Let Me In” I might be able to sneak you in…

🏁 The Closing Line

Throttle twisted, smiles wide —

Let me know!

Ride Smart, Ride Strong,
Blake "Iron Sage" Rivers

P.S. Next time you’re stuck behind a minivan that says "KIDS4EVR," just remember — someone out there is riding a chopper with "SUX2BU" and laughing at them the whole way home.