🛠️ Don’t ride without this, ya reckless bastard

🚦 That time I nearly became buzzard bait...

Somewhere outside Tucson, 112°F, hotter than the devil’s taint, and my throttle cable snaps like a damn breadstick. No phone. No shade. No rescue. Just me, a pissed-off vulture, and a multitool I almost left behind. That beat-up Leatherman turned me from “dead biker in the desert” to “road warrior limpin’ toward cold beer and redemption.” 💀🍺

You ride long enough, you learn: One tool. Every ride. No exceptions.

🔧 What’s the tool, Iron Sage?

🧰 A multitool. Not that $9.99 gas station junk that folds if you breathe on it. I’m talkin’ a real-deal, knuckle-bustin’, stainless-steel sonofabitch — Leatherman, Gerber, SOG... pick your poison. Just don’t ride without it.

⚙️ Why this bad boy never leaves my side

🛠️ It’s a f#@%in’ toolbox in your pocket

Need a knife? Got it. Screwdriver? Yup. Pliers, wire cutters, bottle opener, mini saw, toothpick for your beef jerky? All in one. It’s like Batman’s utility belt — if Batman rode a Harley and gave zero f#@%s.

💣 It turns “oh sht” into “handled.”*

Throttle cable snaps? Clamp it. Wire shorts out? Splice it. Loose mirror? Tighten it. Split beer tab? Pop it open. Ain’t no problem this tool won’t at least punch in the mouth.

🌪️ It’s tougher than your ex's attitude

Rain, grit, road grime, blood, whiskey — this tool’s seen it all. Hell, mine’s got more scars than I do (and I’ve got one from a raccoon with anger issues).

🚫 Don’t be the toolless fool

You ever meet that guy on a ride who breaks down and stares at his bike like it betrayed him? He’s got vape pods and Spotify playlists but no f#@%in’ wrench. Don’t be that guy. Be the dude who flips out a multitool like a damn superhero and gets back on the road before the engine even cools down. 😎🏍️💨

🔥 Pro Tip:

Strap that sucker where you can reach it blindfolded. Tank bag, belt, vest pocket, even tape it to your leg if you’re extra — just don’t bury it under beef jerky, rain gear, and emotional baggage. 🔥🛠️

🤘 What’s your ride-or-die tool?

Reply back, or carve it into a bar bathroom stall — just tell me what tool’s never left your saddlebag. Bonus points if it’s saved your ass in a story involving fire, duct tape, or running from feral dogs. 🐍🔥🧷

🧨 Final gear grind

Ride like you’re gonna break something. Because you will. And when you do, that one tool — the one you almost left behind? That sucker becomes your best friend, your therapist, your damn savior. Respect it.

Ride Loud, Ride Dirty,
Blake “Iron Sage” Rivers

P.S. The road don’t forgive stupidity. Pack smart. Or pack it in. 💀🛠️☠️