🪓 Own the damn lane — or eat the damn asphalt 🏍️💥

🚦 That time I kissed a Volvo at 40mph

I remember this one ride like it was tattooed on my ribs. Rippin’ down a two-lane, feelin’ good, wind in the beard. I’m cruisin’ center lane — stupidly confident — when BAM 💥 this soccer mom in an XC90 merges into my soul. I swerved, she panicked, we both ended up on the shoulder and I damn near needed new underwear.

Why? Because I trusted the middle. Because I forgot the rule: Own your lane like a wolf owns its kill. And that day? I was a deer on Xanax. Never again.

🧠 The myth of the center lane (aka the kill zone)

Middle of the lane seems safe, right? Feels balanced, symmetrical, maybe even a little spiritual if you're into that kind of crap. Here’s the cold truth: it's the trap.

That's where oil and coolant drip like snake venom from every broken-down car on the road 🐍.

It's the blind spot of every cage driver switching lanes without looking 👎.

And it gives you zero leverage to react left or right when sh*t hits the fan.

Middle-laners are just rolling targets with nowhere to run. Don't be that rider.

🔫 Pick a side, pick a strategy (and stop being predictable)

You’re not just riding — you’re positioning like a street samurai. Lane choice ain’t a coin toss; it’s a tactical decision every second.

🏁 Left third (best for visibility):

• Can see the driver's eyes in the side mirror? Good. They can see you too.

• You’re king of the lane, blocking ‘em from cutting in uninvited.

• Best spot for watching oncoming traffic and dodging left-turn Kamikazes.

🦾 Right third (sneaky but smart):

• Useful when you need to avoid trucks and wide-load idiots.

• Keeps you out of the way of oncoming turners.

• BUT — you’re harder to spot in mirrors. Use it wisely, don’t camp there.

🚫 Center third (only if you hate your collarbones):

• Slippery, invisible, and puts you dead smack in driver's blind spots.

• Use only in emergencies or when passing.

• Riding here on purpose? Might as well tie a “HIT ME” sign to your tail light.

🧨 Situational awareness isn’t optional — it’s the whole game😈

You can wear $900 armor, rock a DOT helmet with NASA tech, and still eat it if your head’s not in the game.

Urban jungle? Stay tight to the line and watch for doors, U-turns, and Uber clowns 📵.

Highway? Left third — own it, watch mirrors, and keep exits in sight.

Twisties? Varies by curve. Position for maximum sightline, not speed.

No “one-size-fits-all.” You adapt. Or you get scraped up like yesterday’s roadkill.

🛠️ Pro Tip: The road doesn’t give a damn about your ego 🧟‍♂️

You ain’t proving nothing by staying planted in one lane position. Shift like a predator stalking prey. Be seen when you need to, disappear when it helps. Make that road yours — or it’ll take you out without blinking.

⚔️ Wanna test yourself?

Next time you ride, treat every lane position like it’s a decision you gotta defend with your life. Because it is. Think about where you are, why you’re there, and how fast you can react if everything goes sideways. If you can't answer those three? You’re riding blind, brother.

Ride ruthless, ride aware,
Blake “Iron Sage” Rivers

P.S. Still think the middle lane’s chill? Ask your local EMT how many riders they pull outta that oil-slick strip. I’ll wait.