⚡Gas or volts? Make up your damn mind already 😤

🚦 That time I rode an electric bike... and didn’t hate it

Let me set the scene: Mojave Desert, sun cookin’ my brain through my skull bucket, and I’m test-riding this silent little devil that looked like Robocop’s toothbrush. No roar. No vibration. Just a weird-ass whirrrrrrr like a blender on meth. But I’ll be damned — that torque hit harder than a pissed-off ex. Instant. Precise. Freaky. And yeah, part of me liked it. Then I got range anxiety 12 miles in and had to bum a ride from a guy in a Prius. That’s when I knew we needed to talk about this.

⚙️ The good, the bad, and the plug-ugly

🏁 The “hell yes” argument

Let’s give the devil his due.

• Torque like a freight train on Red Bull — No lag, no gears, just full yank from the first twist.

• Low maintenance — No oil changes, no spark plugs, no carburetor BS.

• No gas stations — Plug it in, peace out.

• Stealth mode — Creepin’ up on deer, cops, or that ex who owes you bike parts.

If you’re commuting or carving up city streets, I get it. These machines have some real upside. Hell, I’ve even seen a few old-school riders quietly swap out their Hog for a high-voltage beast just to skip traffic and pothole hell.

💀 The “hell no” rebuttal

Now let’s talk about what makes ‘em suck.

• They sound like a Roomba’s death rattle. If there ain’t no rumble, is it even a bike?

• The range is still garbage. If I gotta plan my ride around charging stations, I’m out.

• The culture gap is real. You show up at a biker rally with a Tesla-powered crotch rocket? Good luck getting anyone to hand you a beer.

• Battery disposal ain’t exactly Mother Nature’s best friend either. So don’t come at me with your eco-halo on full glow.

Bottom line? They still feel more like riding an iPhone than a soul-bound machine built from steel, sweat, and cussed-up bolts.

🤷‍♂️ The gray area no one talks about

It ain’t black and white, brothers and sisters. You can love the roar of a V-twin and still appreciate the tech curve. One doesn’t kill the other — unless we let it. The old guard can coexist with the new school... as long as the new school learns how to shut up and ride instead of tweeting every five seconds about “clean power” and “sustainable torque curves.”

🔧 Pro Tip: Ride what makes your soul growl 🐍

If your bike doesn’t make you grin like a wolf in heat, you’re on the wrong damn machine. Electric or gas, chopper or cafe, you do you — just don’t fake the funk. The road knows when you’re posing.

❓So what’ll it be — gas, volts, or both?

Hit reply and tell me what you're riding next. Would you trade your old iron for a plug-in rocket? Or are you riding your gas tank into the grave like a true disciple of octane?

Keep the voltage high and the judgment higher,
Blake “Iron Sage” Rivers

P.S. If your next bike sounds like a blender and smells like nothing, at least promise me this — don’t put neon green on it. Some sins can’t be forgiven.